The Soul of Gratitude

A couple of years ago I made a small bar mitzvah in my home, celebrating with close family and friends. A few special people offered to bake something and, atypical of myself, I accepted. Coming into the house from shul that morning, I was greeted with surface upon surface brimming with homemade delicacies…many of which I hadn’t made! From mini kanafe to cinnamon ruggelah to fresh ka’ak, I was proud to point out who contributed what. It was a beautiful, true collaboration for a very special morning. 

To say thank you, to show appreciation, gratitude, is perhaps the universal language of humanity. A smile, a gesture, conveying such feelings transcends languages. 

Hoda’ah, gratitude, is one of the 13 forces of the soul. Gratitude is so deeply embedded into our makeup, into our essence, that our souls naturally gravitate towards it. It is an intrinsic part of us, something we naturally yearn for and feel deeply once attained. The root of hoda’ah, hod, can be described as the nullification of the ego. 

The essence of gratitude is connectedness. Accepting from another removes our ego allowing for a deep connection to be created between one who gives and one who receives. When one offers, and another accepts, a relationship is formed and we grow close. This bond, this acceptance, occurs when we subjugate our ego and unify our wills, when we two become one, bonded together. The sharing unites us.

It is much the same when offering gratitude to Our Creator. In the amidah we bow when saying “thank you” to Hashem, the bowing a sign of humility and acceptance of G-d’s complete sovereignty. We are acknowledging what we’ve received was given from G-d, we are accepting of it and only then properly thanking Him for it. Our relationship is strengthened through this process.

That bar mitzvah morning was the most enjoyable company I’ve ever hosted, and I’m only now beginning to understand the depth of why. By nullifying my ego, by not making the perfect table all about me, by allowing others to give and myself to receive, I was forging a bond between my guests and myself. We were able to connect and unify on a more spiritual level. The warmth I felt that day reached my soul, and I now know why; for receiving can be the deepest form of giving. 

May we all have the ability to give and accept graciously, whether an action, a compliment or a beautiful conversation, and enjoy the soulful connections of gratitude. 

A psalm of thanksgiving. Let all the earth sing in jubilation to the Lord.

Serve the Lord with joy; come before Him with exultation.

Know that the Lord is God; He has made us and we are His, His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with gratitude, His courtyards with praise; give thanks to Him, bless His Name.

For the Lord is good; His kindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness is for all generations. - Tehillim 100