Taking Action

It must have been before we turned the clocks back. Before the skies began to darken at 4:00 pm and a sudden and sinister drop in temperature turned unseasonably warm 75-degree days into bone chilling 28-degrees mornings. It was one such morning where I found myself yet again at my computer in a fierce deadlock with my creativity, while a blanket of grey clouds pressed down outside my window with a somber sigh. Did I really volunteer to write an article on taking action?

Action. A word that signifies life, movement, and growth. The principle that underpins our roles as co-creators with Hashem in shaping our lives and fulfilling our personal destiny. Doing is infused in our being. From the daily responsibilities that keep our lives on track, to the more challenging steps that call us towards growth, doing is our part in the ever-present dance of “Am I living to my potential and G-d’s will for me?”

So how do we find the motivation to stop procrastinating and start doing the things we know would improve our lives? For women, and more specifically Jewish women, there are as many avoidance strategies out there as there are missed opportunities.  With busy lives marked by numerous responsibilities to our families and community, it can be all too easy to rationalize not doing something. After all, someone or something always needs us. Fear often masquerades itself in statements like “I am just too busy,” or “I don’t have the time.” Excuses like “Shabbat is coming,” “holidays are around the corner” or  “am I being selfish” are the trump cards of many a woman considering a trip outside her comfort zone. When it comes to signing up for that class, having a hard conversation, or applying for that position, how quickly we women allow ourselves to tumble down our list of priorities for that day. We hide behind our to-do lists while time marches on. Time that could be used to expand our lives and the lives of others. 

So here’s what you need to know to get moving in a constructive way:

You are not stuck. You are probably just afraid. Most of us procrastinate because we are afraid of putting ourselves out there. The fear of being judged or critiqued by others (especially family members) can be paralyzing. The thought of making mistakes or failing can also put many of us in a freeze. “What if I am not good at it?” is something I hear often in my work. The answer…so what? You can say you tried it and move on. Like when my love of flowers sent me to a floral arranging class in NYC with many of the boho-creative types only to discover that flowers are much more beautiful when I don’t get my hands on them. Or conversely, graduating college with honors while raising a family, all the while convinced I would fail. Taking action puts an end to the incessant  ruminating about things we want or need to do. Think of all the mental energy you expend over-thinking something, and then berating yourself for not “doing it already.” Fear is a convincing adversary that keeps us on a merry-go -round of stuckness and negativity. It’s up to us to not indulge it when it starts. To quote my grandfather “Don’t think, just do.” 

Normalize fear and then do it anyway. “Trying something new will always bring up anxiety Alice,” says my mentor. She’s right. So why not incorporate those feelings into the process? Normalizing fear takes the power out of it. Waiting to be unafraid or “ready” to do something just doesn’t work. Studies show that confidence comes after we begin taking actions. We realize it wasn’t so difficult after all. Making space for all of our emotions without letting any one of them overtake us, gives us the power of choice. And when our fears get the better of us? Taking a step back, a deep breath, or a brisk walk can help discharge the feelings and put us back in our seat of confidence. 

Don’t do it alone: When we find ourselves thinking about something more than doing it, it’s time to find supportive allies. Connect with women who have walked the path you’re on or who are committed to growing their own lives. Everyone knows what it’s like to be afraid, and most will have valuable experience to share with you. Getting someone supportive in your corner is essential to getting out of a funk. Find an accountability buddy to check in with. You would be surprised how willing we become when we want to support others.

Be kind to yourself and honor your process: The most important thing when you find you are stuck is not to berate yourself. Self-compassion is essential when taking risks. Positive self-talk is key. Surround yourself with encouraging people. Become your own ally. Brainstorm simple small steps you can take daily, ones that will inspire, not overwhelm you. Remember, baby steps add up. Take breaks when necessary, then get back in the saddle. 

Finishing this article I find a sense of satisfaction. Perhaps it will inspire one of you to not give up on yourself and your dreams. I also remember how much I love writing. So thank YOU. This week, make it about yourself and honor that nudge. Take that action, reward each step, and get ready to be surprised and delighted in what you achieve.