Silence and What it Means to Us

When we think of silence, it is something often overshadowed in a world dominated by noise. In our own lives we embrace silence for introspection and self discovery. We need silence to focus and understand the world around us. “Silence is golden” - a phrase that we’ve heard over and over to suggest that there are times when saying nothing or maintaining silence is valuable and preferable to speaking. It implies that silence can be a powerful and wise choice, especially in situations where words might be unnecessary, inappropriate, or potentially harmful.

I would like to share two pertinent instances where silence is the preferable attribute. 

In Parashat Vaietse, our mother Rachel, who desperately wants to marry Yaakov, knows that her father Lavan was planning to do something conniving. Rashi says she and Yaakov had a sign between them to let him know if Lavan will give Leah to marry Yaakov in her stead. Rachel remained silent to refrain from embarrassing her sister, thus leading to Leah’s marriage to Yaakov. 

In Parashat Shemini, Aharon has just learned of the passing of his two sons, Nadab and Avihu. Rashi says he wept loudly but when Moshe Rabenu came to console him, he told Aharon that his sons did in fact sanctify Hashem’s name before lighting the forbidden fire which was their sin. When Aharon heard this ,וידם אהרון - vayadam Aharon, Aharon was silent. His silence represented his acceptance of Hashem’s taking his sons even though he was in great pain.

This brings us to the topic of  לשון הרע - lashon hara, where silence is imperative. Choosing silence becomes essential when refraining from speaking negatively about someone. This reflects a commitment to respect and integrity, preventing the perpetuation of gossip or harm. By staying silent in such situations, individuals demonstrate maturity and a conscientious approach to interpersonal relationships. It's a way to uphold a positive and constructive atmosphere, fostering trust and avoiding unnecessary discord. Silence, in this context, becomes a powerful tool for promoting a culture of kindness and understanding.

Silence is golden during these events and was commended by those who refrained from speaking. When is silence not golden? When should we not be silent?

In Pirkei Avot, the pasuk says, אין הבישן לומד - ein habaishan lomed, one who is shy or embarrassed to speak cannot learn. Silence can hinder learning when it impedes the exchange of ideas, questions and insights crucial to the educational process. In the learning environment, active engagement and open communication are vital.

Breaking silence is warranted in situations where communication is essential for understanding, resolving conflicts, or expressing emotions constructively. It's crucial to break silence when withholding information may lead to misunderstanding or harm. Additionally, when collaboration and teamwork are hindered by silence, initiating communication becomes necessary. However, the decision to break silence should be thoughtful, considering the context and the potential impact on individuals and relationships. 

     In today’s world, we as Jews must speak up and break our silence when defending our religion and homeland. We must not be afraid of who we are and what we stand for. There are many many people who think we shouldn’t be here. It is our right to live in our g-d given homeland. With Hashem’s help, there will be peace again and we will prevail.