Hidden Intentions

Concealment. Revelation. The Creator Himself often conceals His intentions from us, setting the stage for a spectacle that will later reveal His great hand. In the Torah, many chronicles display a leitmotif of disguise.

One such case is the account of Tamar and Yehuda. Tamar was married to two brothers—Er first and upon his passing, his brother, Onan. Tamar had hopes of establishing a home for their father, Judah, and grandfather, Israel. In both marriages our sages tell us the brothers angered Hashem for their refusal to be intimate with Tamar in a normative and fulfilling manner. Both men denied Tamar her rights as a woman and her dream as a mother.

She was summoned to return to her father’s home where she waited patiently for Judah’s third son, Shelah, to be offered as a husband from whom she can continue her destiny as mother of Kings. However, Judah did not intend on delivering his son into the hands of Tamar.

Only Judah himself could father her future children, and he was not keen on seeing her point of view – even denying her rights in a way. Time was running out. Tamar had to take matters into her own hands; she had to disguise herself and capitalize on Judah’s vulnerabilities. 

She is a widow. He is a widower. Both are visionaries. But their stars must align—and Hashem needs to pull the strings along. They are destined to bring the future kings of Israel. But how can Tamar help Judah realize this? Judah was not on the right path. He had married a woman from the Canaanites and she raised sons who were not G-d fearing! He had played a vital role in his father’s emotional turmoil, hiding from himself and forging a path that had led him astray.

Tamar wished to illuminate Judah’s state of mind and help him realize that she was going to aid him in his quest for spiritual elevation and cleansing. So she concealed herself in a red veil and offered herself to him as he was on his way to shear the sheep. He did not recognize Tamar. Her promiscuity was ensured by her paradoxical modesty.

He has no money; but he does have his staff, signet, and scarf and a promise of future payment. She accepts his identifiers as a faithful pledge. The two consummate their relationship, and she disappears from the town; no one knows of any veiled woman. Judah is bewildered. Three months later Tamar shows signs of pregnancy; as a widow intended to marry Shelah she is forbidden to consort with any man. She is brought before Judah’s court; he sentences her to death by fire.

Tamar, refusing to embarrass Judah, sends a letter to Judah: to whom these things belong I am pregnant!

Indeed, when Tamar showcased Yehuda his staff, signet, and scarf (right before she was sentenced to burn to death for the sin of harlotry) she hinted to him to take a closer look at his personal life and to delve deep into his patterned choices and judge her accordingly. 

Ask yourself, she said:

How have I led my life? Where did my staff take me? On which path have I traveled?

What have I ascribed to? How did I sign off on certain “truths?” With which signature or signet did I bleed my blood upon? Which cloaks have I worn? Which hats and roles did I play in my life that have led me to this moment?

To that man, my children shall call “father.”

Yehuda came to an instantaneous assessment that he had not been as righteous as he could have been; indeed, Tamar was more “righteous than I.” But now may be his chance to regain his status; his purpose.

The difference between them was stark:

Tamar covered herself but revealed her intentions: to bear the progeny of Davidic Kings. Yehuda had covered his own ‘light’ by marrying a non-righteous woman and bearing sinful sons. He had lied to his father, living in secrets, darkness. Tamar’s life was signed off by men, but she never gave up hope. Yehuda judged other men harshly many times.

Tamar played the role others wanted for her but chose to renew her faith in her own visions; Yehuda lost his visions; he had been ridden with guilt and shame for his role in Joseph’s ‘disappearance’ and lost his way along the way.

To break free from the path others chose for her, she broke the rules. She played the role of seductress; she stood at the center of town, concealing her identity but revealing her true purpose: to capitalize on Yehuda’s weakness to help him against his will and knowledge; to show him his path; to renew his faith, to remind him of the role he must play: the father of future Kings. She forced him in a tight spot—to help him reveal his mercy and compassion; to lessen his hold on strict judgment; to change his perspective; mercy to temper justice.

In a moment of “Haker Na,” recognize this, Yehuda recognized he had been shutting out the sound of his destiny; marrying a Canaanite woman did not yield righteous sons; he had let himself fall, inflicting his own spiritual punishment, perhaps hating himself, perhaps losing faith in himself. Tamar’s seduction enabled him to renew his faith in his own “loins” of tremendous potential—to own up to his mistakes, to begin a new chapter. A new pair of sons to replace the old. A new way of approaching the world to replace the old patterns.

A paradigm shift.

Tamar recognized Yehuda’s greatness and she allowed him to realize his own. He had to place a new signet on his finger, one inscribed with the stamp of a pride of lions, as he was now the father of great kings. A new garb he would wear - of crimson cloth to signify his royalty—and a new staff that will lead his brothers out of their collective guilt and misery into reconciliation and renewal of unity and familial harmony.

We need to ask ourselves, how can I remove the concealments in my life? What am I hiding? Furthermore, on a more positive note, how can I reveal the hidden intentions of Hashem in my life? Can I see how Hashem orchestrates great events, perhaps by using people to reveal my own inner light? Let us always be filled with the revealing of the concealments….